Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Potting Harry Potter

Warning: Do not read this entry if you are a Harry Potter fan and have not yet read the latest book "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".

Unfortunately, Harper's Weekly did not provide such a warning before they gave away one of the book's big surprises. Apparently, reader response has been overwhelming. Here's a sampling of what some of them had to say.

FROM JOSH RICHARDS: Shame on you for giving away even a
small detail of the new Harry Potter book, buried mid-paragraph, with no warning. Shame.
FROM KEN KOONTZ: It's the totally gratuitous nature of the Harry Potter spoiler that bugs me. How lame.
FROM KATIE BOMBICO: Thanks for ruining the book for me.
FROM D.H. PRESCOTT: I found your action to be indicative of a flippant and condescending attitude.
FROM REBECCA EWING: How mean-spirited of you.
FROM PAUL LARSON: Bad form.
FROM JOE WINTER: That's just rude.
FROM PATRICK DEVITT: I would think that a magazine published since June of 1850, as you advertise, WOULD UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF A "SPOILER"!!!
FROM BARBARA CORNETT: Paul Ford is an asshole for telling that Hedwig dies in the Harry Potter book. Nobody does that sort of thing. Who does he think he is. What makes him above everyone else so that he does not have to abide by the rules and at least warn people if he is going to spoil a book or movie by telling things about it that the writers intended for readers and movie goers to experience and not some asshole like Ford to spoil for them. I hope a wizard puts a hex on him and his dick falls off.
FROM LEVI FULLER: Fuck you very much, assholes.
FROM: CYNTHIA PATRICIA: I am writing because I am extremely upset by Paul Ford's Harper's Weekly, in which he blatantly gives away a spoiler in the final Harry Potter book. I'm not sure how dorky I sound here, but it's the kind of thing that you just don't do. It had no relevance to the sentence whatsoever, and I find it in poor taste to send it out to all the subscribers who generally enjoy reading the review but who haven't gotten around to getting a copy of the book yet, even if it's been over 48 hours and 8.3 million people know what happened already. Let's hope Harper's wont make it a habit to follow the poor judgement and standard of the Times.
FROM HENRY ROLLINS: Good on ya, Harper's!

(OK - I admit, I made the last one up. Sorry. Couldn't resist. If you have ever listened to any of Henry's spoken word, you probably know that he has thrown dates out of his car when he learns that they're reading Harry Potter. He likens it to listening to Nickleback. Now, I'm not much of a HP fan myself, but I wouldn't necessarily go THAT far. Still, a word of advice: put down the damn book and go outside. It's summer for crying out loud!)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

ooooohhh, brilliant screed.

One commendable thing about the Harry Potter series is that it has encouraged a generation of children to read something besides their cereal boxes, without moving their lips.

Judy B

Dave said...

You're right. The Harry Potter series has done wonders for children...CHILDREN!!!
I'm surprised by the number of adults who put HP on their top ten lists, whether or not they move their lips while reading.

Anonymous said...

Fortunately Harper's did not reveal more of the last HP intrigue ... I can only say the 600 or so pages are eventful and made up the first two days of my (rainy) holidays :-)

My lips are sealed (and so is my keyboard).

A 34 year old child.